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Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex

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If you ever wanted a porno to sell you on anal, then Tristan Taormino’s Expert  Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is the porn video for you.

For starters, it’s educational as hell… and one of the best things about the educational bits (other than the wealth of legitimate and helpful information) is that the educational portions are taught by Tristan, who is a piece of eye candy no matter how much or how little she wears.

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex begins with anal endorsements and clips from the stars, and Tristan offers a lesson on anatomy and hygiene, which are valuable lessons for anal sex.  I love the hygiene lesson, because Tristan actually discusses enemas, and how to use a disposable enema safely (pour out the prepacked contents!), which is colossally important.  Tristan wins more points in my book by warning against numbing lubes in anal sex, praising warm-up anal activity before pulling out the big guns, and telling us about how to train your ass, and offering advice for first-time anal practitioners.  She gives suggestions on how to deal with pain during anal (back off!), good positions for anal sex, and toy play.

The stars.  Nina Hartley! Kylie Ireland!  Adrianna Nicole!  Bobbi Starr!  Danny Wylde!  James Deen!  Mr. Marcus!  Christian, God of Giant Cocks!  It’s a great cast.

vlcsnap-2012-09-21-19h05m11s252Kylie Ireland and James Deen start the show, prepping her anally with fingers, then taking the ENTIRETY of a Tantus A-Bomb like a champ… and begging for more.  She and James fuck doggie-style with the A-Bomb in her ass, then he slips it out and takes her ass from the side while she uses a hitachi.  I loved the use of gloves, because I’m anal (no pun intended) about protection, and it puts my nosy mind at ease when performers use some kind.  The entire performance is rife with dirty talk and a faint squeaking from the bed, which is only a tiny bit distracting if you really focus on it.  James and Kylie do a good job of providing the kind of dirty talk that I absolutely love, and it’s really genuine, convincing, in-the-moment talk, with growls and groans and a lot of muttering… which is only slightly annoying if you have to adjust your volume a lot to hear it.

When I finally sat down to finish this review, I watched it on the large television in the living room.  Noise level was not a concern.

But really, other than Kylie Ireland’s ass of holding, the verbal responses are some of the best things about this scene.  The dirty talk is guttural and intense, and you can tell Kylie is losing her shit.  That turns me on SO much, because those growls are really authentic, and they remind me of my own intense sexual experiences.

vlcsnap-2012-09-21-19h06m52s237Danny and Adriana are next, and they’re… a lot quieter.  I’m not going to lie, that disappoints me, but I do love is the bondage tape harness that Danny makes to secure the plug that Adriana wears while she blows him.  The sex largely consists of a variety of positions for anal intercourse, and is absent of both the squeaky bed AND much other than the growl of a Hitachi and some quiet moaning.  I guess another good thing is that I love their headboard… and sometimes they make good eye contact.  But that’s all I’ve got to say about this.  It wasn’t my speed.  Honestly, I started fastforwarding through it after the halfway mark just to get to the end of the scene, in which Danny cums on Adriana’s ass and I look forward to getting on with the DVD.

The scene with Mr. Marcus and Bobbi Starr actually starts out with Bobbi in what appears to be a harness with a small Tantus Ace beneath it.  She quickly upgrades to the larger Ace…

and then the oral sex

 

It’s worth applauding Bobbi for her expert cock-handling.  And for being a lot louder than Adriana, which is a blessing.  Mr. Marcus is at least slightly more verbal than Danny was, which I’m into.  They also have sex in a room with a couple mirrors, so the camera angle that captures the action through a mirror is nice.  I love when Bobbi is sitting on him Reverse-Cowgirl style and rubbing herself as she rides him.  In fact, I really just love her anyway, because she is such a gorgeous woman.  One of her orgasms is amazing.  Then later she and Mr. Marcus try to break a chair!  (Try.  I say try because it squeaks incessantly.)

vlcsnap-2011-07-20-01h40m38s217Mr. Marcus also does this clapping thing when he gets really into it that I just find hilarious.  I’m totally cool with applauding her performance – I would!  But something about the act itself in the moment just entertains me endlessly.  Sometimes he does it and I expect Bobbi to just stop moving and fall lifelessly to the floor.  CLAP OFF!

 

Last, but not least, Christian and Nina.

Watching Nina Hartley make this face (while imitating an opera singer hitting a high C) is worth the price of admission alone.  (That’s the combined anal and clitoral stimulation face.)

vlcsnap-2012-09-20-21h12m22s19

Nina is just the best.  There is nothing about this woman that I do not adore, in this porn or anywhere else.  She doesn’t hesitate to tell Christian when he hits the right spot.  She asks for exactly what she wants – “right there!  I’d love it if you put a thumb in my ass.”  And she loves people who aren’t afraid to let their “freak flag” fly.  She’s incredibly verbal, incredibly fun, and she can practically EAT the nJoy Eleven with her ass.  (That’s admiration that you’re reading, by the way.  And eeeenvy.)

Nina’s awesomeness doesn’t just carry the scene… Christian’s willingness to put stuff in his ass is the best.  There is no other way to say that.  Any man who lets someone put a Pure Plug and an nJoy Pure Wand in his ass (before getting pegged later) on camera is automatically up there in my top 10 favorite male pornstars.

Nina compliments him on looking good as the recipient of some strap-on lovin’, and I agree with her 100%.  He looks damn good on his knees.vlcsnap-2011-07-20-02h07m36s13

It’s just a hot scene.  They communicate and do all kinds of shit – there’s nothing “one note” about any of it.  While it isn’t necessarily the SUPER-INTENSE GROWLING UTTERLY-CHEMISTRY-DRIVEN dirty talk that I love, it’s something else I can enjoy and respect just as much: enthusiastic, fun, enjoyment-driven dirty talk!  Christian cums all over his stomach while Nina pegs him, and she tells him how much fun he is.  Everyone should have an orgasm like that at least once.

If the porn and basic education weren’t good enough, this DVD also comes with educational special features about:

  • Safer sex and choking safety
  • Strap-on Tips
  • Anal hygiene, and
  • Solo prostate stimulation

The toys in TristanTaormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex are totally great.  There’s a LOT of Tantus and nJoy toys, and in the shot that shows a bunch of anal toys during the educational segment, there are even some NobEssence (luuuuuuust) toys… such as the Romp.  The educational content is superb, and the sex is great.  While I very obviously have my two favorite scenes, I wouldn’t describe the other two as mediocre… they’re just not my speed.  I think the sheer amount and value of the content is worth the money, don’t you?

Seriously.  If you don’t care about anal, Tristan has videos of similar quality about squirting, blowjobs, rough sex, and more, so there’s something to tickle everyone’s fancy.  Check out Tristan’s site at http://puckerup.com!

To Tristan Taormino and all of her assistants: My vagina and I both thank you all for sending this video to me for a review!

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