Janine the Anthro Dragoness
Bad Dragon recently released a brand-spankin’ new version of one of their masturbation sleeves, Janine the Anthro Dragoness. I’ve been in lust with Bad Dragon for a long time, so I was very excited to have an opportunity to review the new Janine. There was only one problem… I don’t have a working penis.
But my partner does! And so without further ado, I present to you my partner’s review of the new Janine:
So, caveat before I begin: I’m not a sex toy reviewer. I’m not aware of any of the etiquette or niceties of the craft. I’m going to tell you what I thought, because that’s what I was asked to do. It may not work for you. Different people with different physical logistics and different needs may not feel the same way I did.
First, Janine is a masturbation sleeve. I’ve quietly and discreetly looked at sleeves before, back in my single days. Thanks to Zack and Miri Make a Porno I heard about the Fleshlight for the first time, and didn’t even realize before that there were sex toys for men. I guess I kind of always assumed there were, but I’m a simple kind of guy. I don’t like to complicate my “me time.” In fact, maybe because of the way male masturbation is a subject of both jokes and demonization, my “me time” used to be as quick as possible. Even living alone, it wasn’t an act I tried to draw out for extended pleasure time. It was a means to an end for relief. A scratch to an itch.
Janine is not a dragon vagina, per se. From a biological standpoint, if dragons had anything it would be a cloaca – assuming dragons are like most reptiles. And while it might be neat to fuck a cloaca, I doubt there’d be a dragon small enough that you wouldn’t outright fall into its cloaca during a sexual encounter. So this sleeve is a dark-colored, squishy (think stress ball squishy, but for your dick) human-esque vagina, complete with a tiny hood and tiny dragon clit. Just like in Skyrim.
The top of Janine is surrounded by a crown of scale-shaped silicone, which other than the color is the only thing dragon-esque about the sleeve. Which is OK with me. I’m here for the fucking, not the gimmick. The top is shaped with a nice curve above the hood and below the opening that fits neatly both against my balls and my pelvis, providing the right pressure in the right places that regular intercourse does.
I’ve used the sleeve with two kinds of water-based lube so far. It’s really important to lube the opening and inside of the sleeve and run a little on your cock before insertion. Otherwise you’re in for the silicone equivalent of carpet burn. I got hard and slid on in.
My first impression is that it was kind of weird, because I’ve never used a sleeve before. The insertion itself isn’t a real “wow” experience, as Janine has no special textures inside designed for pleasure that I can feel. The opening was about the size of my head. I used the sleeve a few times, and each time I felt like I kind of had to shove it in to get past my head, but then it was fine once I got going.
Where it shines is ergonomics and suction. The sleeve itself looks like someone took a large black dildo and cut off the tip, then drilled out the middle for you to fuck it. It’s a little heavy, but you’ll appreciate that weight once it’s on your dick. Since it’s shaped like a cock, it fits nicely in one or two hands (I have big hands, I can see someone with smaller hands needing to use two) and operation is pretty similar to how I masturbate, only it feels way better than my hand would.
The stylized end is, of course, the vagina-shaped opening, and the other end is just a tiny hole that I assume is there to make sure your dick doesn’t get stuck in it from suction. On the other hand, you can squeeze the sleeve while you’re inside it both on or above your penis and the suction gives you that eyes-rolling-back-biting-my-lower-lip-deep-moan pleasure. Thrust, squeeze, slide, release, rinse, repeat. It feels great from lying on my back and I also tried fucking it from on top – for me it’s a pretty good way to get off. And the toy reminds me I’m doing this for my pleasure, it’s not just an itch that needs scratching – I can take my time.
And there’s your firsthand account of Janine! From a sex toy enthusiast standpoint, I can tell it’s a pretty high quality toy. How does it differ from the original Janine? Well, most prominently, it’s bigger. We don’t have an original Janine, but Bad Dragon sent some very convenient comparison photos. In the photo you see here, the original Janine is that smaller toy on the right and the new Janine is the on the left. That’s a lot more bang for your buck!