International Fisting Day!

October 21, 2011

I straight-up love fisting, you guys.

If you just winced, give yourself a slap on the wrist. Two, maybe. And don’t you dare enjoy it. This isn’t sexytime-slapping. This is shame-on-you. No, this shame isn’t sexy either.

I know that there’s a pretty big stigma against fisting because people are sexually uninformed. (Do you like how I took the gentle route there and didn’t call them idiots? I’m trying not to alienate potential members of my audience by slinging around the I-word.) They’re convinced that a whole hand would never fit up there, and that they’d have to be super-loose to take it, and it would never fit because they prefer two fingers, and “couldn’t possibly” take more. Here’s a non-hostile article about why talking about being “loose” because of the frequency and size of an insertion is stupid. (Seriously. The vagina is a muscle. Try kegels if you think you’re lacking.)

People also seem to imagine that fisting is forced, violent, and is meant to be painful. It’s kind of like applying the original connotation of “fuck” to fisting. I’m not sure where it got this reputation, since it’s hardly mentioned in popular culture, but it’s a completely unwarranted reputation.

Fisting isn’t necessarily cramming your entire hand into someone’s cunt. Technically, it’s just four fingers and a thumb inside. The slutling’s entire hand doesn’t fit inside me in the duck bill position; I’m not even sure he can get past his knuckles.

I suppose I should make myself look human for a moment by admitting that when I was in high school, I too winced at the idea of being fisted. In fact, I didn’t think my ex would ever be able to put more than two fingers in me. His fingers were enormous, I never got very aroused, and I was never very well-lubricated with him. I couldn’t even fathom the idea. Even after we broke up, I didn’t say, “Let’s see if I can find someone to wear me like Lambchop!”

In fact, I was fisted for the first time on a whim. The slutling was fingering me (wearing gloves, of course), and it felt fantastic, so I asked him to insert another finger… and then I asked him to make the “duck bill” shape (shown here at the right, from Beyond Xs and Ys) and use his thumb. Oh my god. It all happened very naturally, and I was absolutely shocked that there was no pain. There was some gentle movement, but none of that hardcore thrusting that people assume fisting involves. (Hint: it often doesn’t.)

Fisting is now a semi-regular part of my sex life. The only time I enjoy having my cervix touched is when I’m being fisted, and I absolutely love the sensation of fullness that fisting provides. Being my boyfriend’s hand puppet is an incredibly unique experience for me, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Basic fisting guidelines:

Make sure your nails are trimmed!
Use gloves! (This will prevent concern about your nails – gloves are great for hot, safe hand sex.)
Use lubricant! There’s no such thing as too much lube, but there is such a thing as too little.
Communication is absolutely necessary. Go slowly and listen to your partner.
Be ready to have your mind blown.

In this interview (which features one of best fisting pictures in the world), Courtney Trouble describes fisting thusly:

Fisting is simply four fingers and a thumb sliding into a vagina (or ass, for those inclined and well-lubed). The hand then slips delicately inside the hole, past the knuckles and anywhere along the palm of the hand, even up to the wrist. It’s basically allowing the vaginal muscles to decide how little, or how much, the body wants to take in. The fistee is left feeling full, and often times the fister can feel the beating of the heart, muscle swelling, and the walls of the vagina moving up and down the hand. There’s a misconception that’s it’s forced in, when most fisting is initiated entirely by the person getting fisted. In fact, it’s usually the vagina itself that will decide to just swallow a hand entirely.

Once the hand is fully inside, it generally stays still, allowing both parties to experience that connection. Some movement is natural, and after a while, light thrusting may or may not happen. Every once in a while it might be faster or harder, but in general, fisting is all about a hand and a hole listening to each other very closely. It’s one of the most beautiful, intimate sex acts I’ve ever experienced. It’s sex positive and builds a deeper connection between sex partners. It’s encourages deeper communication. And most people who have been fisted will probably tell you, it’s one of the best ways to orgasm in the whole wide world.

Word, Courtney. Word.

Educate Yourself

Fisting Day Tumblr

Babeland’s Fisting Instructions