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The Medication Drag

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Sorry folks, I know I haven’t posted since October.

The long and short of it is that I’m on a TON of medications, and like so many psychiatric meds do, they kill my libido.  Really, my interest in sex is still here, and I still want to be having it with my partner and myself, but it’s like my body has other things to do.  I would be lying if I said it wasn’t frustrating.  It’s hard to sit down with the toys you need to review, then find yourself struggling to even use one.  My orgasms aren’t impeded, but my mindset is.  After one orgasm I’m usually ready to throw in the towel.

I’ve got a lot of emotional baggage surrounding sexuality, too – some gender and body dysphoria that lately, it’s been hard to look past when watching pornography.  I know there are ways to masturbate without porn, but I like porn, and feeling like this, I’m sure as hell not going to fantasize about myself.  Generally I’ll get pretty into the porn, then once I’m done I’m like, “I could go for round 2 but I suddenly hate this.”  If I’m not watching porn it’s more like, “I could go for round 2 but suddenly I hate myself.”

It’s a challenge, to say the least.

I’m also in my final semester of college, so that’s a huge step for me, but it’s also a busy time.  I have a work co-op (working on a cat shelter website OMG IT’S LIKE A DREAM!) and I’ve got to spend 160 hours on it in addition to my 5 other classes.

So more reviews are coming, slowly but surely.  Off the top of my head, I’ve got Uberlube and the Je Jou Ami in the works, plus some LoveLife toys and awesome Tantus paddles sitting around my house.  The LoveLife products are getting the most mileage right now, so those reviews might come out faster than the others.  I’ve also had the Live Sex Show review ALMOST ready to publish for months now, and probably should get a slap on the wrist for withholding it.

So my New Years Resolution for 2014 is to be more active.  My blog is an important outlet for me and the community is great… when you’re actually included in it.  And you have to be around to be included.  I’m trying to make myself more available on Twitter, so if you need me, I’m just an @Sugarcunt away.

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