Snail Vibe Review

January 6, 2022

Since 2017, I had one constant bedside vibrator: my beloved Doxy Die Cast. It literally sat on my bed, when I had one, every day it worked. I loved it so much that I ended up with two of them, because once Doxy replaced the first one under warranty, I kept its beautiful red carcass out of sentimentality. I tried to prolong both their lives by gluing loose or broken parts back into place on each one until their motors finally died.

This was a serious commitment I had with my die casts: in sickness and in health, I loved them, they were my absolute favorite, and it was only with great reluctance that I decided I needed to move my favoritism into the future now that the Doxy Die Cast is several years (and Doxy generations) old. It’s still a fantastic toy, don’t get me wrong – but I’m a sex toy reviewer; I need to keep up with the times.

So, as in years past, I turned to SheVibe and said, “I need a new dildo to marry,” and they replied with a list of perfectly serviceable-seeming suggestions. Surprising no one, I was drawn to the bizarre-looking Snail Vibe – what the fuck was its deal? It was the only dual stimulation option on the list, and I’m typically a rather vocal critic of dual stimulation toys, because my clit never benefits from most dual-stim designs.

Or at least it didn’t benefit, until now. [Cue angelic choir.]

I’m deeply grateful I gave the Snail Vibe a chance, because it rocked my world. Thanks to the weird but vaguely ergonomic design, a dual-stimulator arm finally benefits my clit! I prefer broad stimulation, and usually not directly on the head of my buried clitoris, and the Snail Vibe does it so well. I borrowed this graphic from SheVibe’s product page, so you can better understand what it’s like to use the Snail Vibe.

When I hold the large, round handle, which isn’t too unwieldy for my small hands despite its size, I push the end with the bend inside and the other head pushes against my vulva. Since I have large outer labia, I can typically position the clit bulb where I want it, then let my labia hold it generally in place, so each thrust pushes the whole bulb against me.

With a firm push right up against me, it gives me the broad, internal-clit-rattling stimulation I crave, and I don’t have to worry about hurting my arms and wrists, or breaking the neck of the toy to get it. (My second Die Cast neck snapped in service… twice.)

The insertable end isn’t the girthiest, but I find it filling enough the internal vibrations are satisfying. I think it’s a good thing for many consumers that it isn’t thicker; it seems like that could make it more difficult to clean.

On the note of cleaning, that’s really my only complaint about the Snail Vibe. The indented logo on the ends will trap gunk you need to be sure you get out during cleaning. The insertable bend can be kind of annoying to clean out without using some kind of brush or cloth to do it for you – you sort of have to peel back both the sides of the Snail Vibe to get in there. If you’ve already got a spare toothbrush for cleaning sex toy details, you’ll be using it on this regularly, because the toy’s design necessitates lube.

I find that the insertable end and the part of the snail that works the clit need the lube the most. Water-based will be the most common choice to use with the Snail Vibe for most people, since the toy is gloriously silicone all around. It’s a smooth matte that doesn’t create a lot of extra “drag”. There’s a small waterproof-skin-hole at the handle end that charges the vibe when you stick the pronged USB-powered charger into it.

It’s miraculously quiet for how powerful it is, and I love that! We live with two other people we’re not having sex with, so it’s always pleasant to be able to jerk off without broadcasting to the entire house that I’ve got a tractor between my legs. It’s also cheaper than another Die Cast, and while I maintain my 4 years of orgasms were well worth the Die Cast’s $190 price tag, I always rank “more affordable” in the “Pros” column.

I don’t know how long it’ll be until I require a new bedside vibrator now; with a 10-year warranty, I’ll be able to get this toy replaced until the planet dies a horrible heat death. That’s great, because it’s going to get a lot of use in the meantime. I really can’t recommend it enough.

step 1: buy Snail Vibe
step 2: buy lube
step 3: ???
profit!